Distractions

I'm very proud of myself for writing in spite of serious distractions. DD came to spend the night on Monday and was in bad shape although she did eat dinner with us. By last night she was angry, argumentative and refusing to eat at all (she is being treated for bulimia/bipolar/ADHD). Both nights I was sad/upset/concerned...but I managed to get my fingers onto the keyboard and get down some words. Funny, but I got into the writing and it sort of carried me away from life for a bit.

Tonight she is being admitted to the hospital which we tried to avoid (it will be her 10th or 11th stay) but at least I will be able to rest knowing she is safe.

My lunch hour is nearly over, but I did manage to get some more words. I'm keeping up with my goals, but I puprosely made them small to start.

Life Interferes

But I try not to let it. I was all set to write on my lunch hour (busman's holiday since I do a lot of writing at work), practically had my fingers on the old keyboard, when the phone rang. It was dd (23 yrs. old). She has bipolar disorder and is a wonderful girl but a challenge. She has been doing quite well but lately I've noticed some signs of a downward slide...again. It happens four or five times a year. I was feeling pretty bummed and hoping that I had misread the signals.

But here I am ready to write, and she calls having a mini-meltdown. By the time I hung up all creative urge had vanished to be replaced by an urge for gooey, sweet, highly caloric foodstuffs..since I'm at work and can't have any of the hard stuff.

But I put my fingers BACK on the keys, and managed to subdue my own neurotic tendencies toward extreme worry long enough to bang out a page and a half. Triumph! I am at the end of Chapter two and perking right along. It still feels like crap, but I think there are one or two funny moments and a couple of decent sentences.

Is There an Editor In the House?

I'm up to 8 pages. Unfortunately I don't like any of them. I did reread even through I promised I wouldn't. One minute I thought it wasn't so bad, and the next I was convinced I had lost any ability to write that I might have once possessed. No more going back. Promise. Even if my fingers are crossed.

I haven't found the right "voice" for the piece yet. It needs to be light and funny. I am not taking myself seriously with this manuscript. I think I need to spend a little more time getting into the head of my protag so forward progress might be temporarily halted.

I am getting into the swing of things though. Was irritated with hubby last night because he wanted me to hang around drinking V-day champagne and eating chocolates with him instead of hunkering down over the computer. And reading the book he got me. Ahem. Nearly 100 new ways to do something we've already been doing for quite awhile now.

Time out tonight for Grey's Anatomy (hey, it's part 2). Then fingers on the keyboard. I promise.

Chapter One, Page One

And so it begins. I'm trying not to look back at what I've written. It's not absolutely terrible, but it's not great either. I'm trying to find the right "voice". Once I get that, I'll be on a roll. I'm trying to just give it time and not panic.

It's hard not to go back and read and reread and edit. I've got four pages--two more than my goal for the day. I spent some time doing a little research which will come in handy, but it's still not writing so it doesn't really count. I'll have to see how I feel about it in the morning. Maybe I'll have an epiphany during the night!

I am so dumb. 24 hours later and I've already forgotten that my "user name" is the same as my email address. Sheesh.

No writing yet...still planning. Very scared. I'm afraid the words won't come, and I won't be able to get what is in my mind down on paper. And that it won't be as funny as I'd like it to be (light, comic mystery). I've written at least 8 manuscripts so far, and somehow the words always showed up so I don't know why all the panic. I sort of feel like this is my "last chance". Ridiculous.

Sunday I plan to sit down with my cookbooks and come up with a week of healthy! menus for me, hubby and the kid remaining at home. Then I'll be able to get dinner out of the way and WORK. I can also do a little on my lunchbreak at the office, but I sometimes find that the atmosphere stifles creativity, and I tend to write as if someone were looking over my shoulder. Doesn't work well for sex scenes! Or just about any scene...

I'd love to do 5 pages per day. Secretly I'm hoping for 10. I want to get the first draft DONE. This isn't going to be Shakespere. I hope to be plunged back into the submission process by summer.

Sigh.

On your mark, get set...

I'm almost ready to join the great novel race. I just needed a blog. My blog at xanga is probably defunct by now and wouldn't be relevant anyway filled as it is with answers to stupid questionnaires with stuff like "what time do you get up" and "what's your favorite drink". So I am starting over here.

I'm still in the plotting stage and plan to start writing on Monday, February 12th. It's a mystery. Set in the world of women's roller derby. Hopefully funny and a little chick lit-ish. No title as of yet. It's something like my 8th manuscript. Mostly mysteries, a couple of YAs and two romances. I've had two agents and a lot of disappointments. But back on the horse. Maybe this will be IT.